Unhappy Canada Day

I wasn’t feeling great mentally on Canada Day morning. I woke up feeling anxious and sad, for no particular reason. Life with depression.

My mood didn’t improve at all after an hour, so I decided to get out of the house. I thought a little bike ride might improve my mood.

41 km later, I felt pretty good!

I started out heading toward Symington Yard. I’ve certainly done that trip before. I arrived at the Fermor Avenue overpass at the southeast end of the yard and took a few photos. One of the two hump tracks was in use.

I still had a lot of energy, so I decided to head north on Plessis Road. It is not bike friendly, so I rode on the slanted gravel shoulder for a bit until I could get over onto the sidewalk. I don’t normally bike on the sidewalk but I felt it was too dangerous to bike on the road without a decent shoulder.

Suddenly, I was in Transcona!

I’d never biked in this area before! I photographed the tail end of a westbound train, then headed east on Dugald Road. Fortunately there is a dedicated walking / bike path along Dugald Road, so it was very pleasant to ride there.

There’s an overpass topping the outlet of Symington Yard at the northwest end (here). Here three tracks head north and split east and west at Beach Junction, with a connector to the Central Manitoba Railway as well.

I took a few minutes to enjoy a gluten-free double-stuf Oreo. These are absolutely the best gluten free cookies I’ve had… just like the “glutened” version I remember.

The photo below shows the view from the overpass, looking north toward Beach Junction. Note all the wheat (?) growing between the rails, and the guard rails inside the outer tracks, presumably to help protect against derailments damaging the overpass.

Heading west down the overpass, I took a moment to photograph the compact McAsphalt facility. This would make a good model railway industry – small and needing frequent switching.

I continued my circumnavigation of Symington Yard, pausing to take a photo of the yard entrance from across Lagimodiere Boulevard.

Feeling a lot better, I biked the rest of the way back home.

It’s pretty well documented that exercise can be a good way to counteract some symptoms of depression.

Just One More Thing

One thing I’ve found about depression that surprised me is how random it is. Usually we are sad because of some external influence – a death in the family, relationship issues, that sort of thing – but depression can make you feel sad at any time.

Personally I’ve found that I tend to feel the effects of depression more when I am tired or stressed. If I’m really tired, I feel hopeless and defeated.

One example that sticks in my mind is one day during our trip through Italy in 2022 with my wife and her parents.

We were traveling by train from Florence to Riomaggiore, and had to change trains in Pisa and La Spezia. When we booked the trip, we ended up with a six minute connection in Pisa and we knew it would be tight.

We almost made the connection, but in the end we had to wait an hour for the next train. That was OK for me as it was a good location for railfanning.

We took the train to La Spezia, where I bought our tickets for the last segment of the journey. Once we arrived at Riomaggiore, we (I) had to haul the suitcases from the train to the hotel, check in, get them up the narrow stairs to our rooms, and so forth.

I was exhausted from the trip and the exertion. Nothing had really gone wrong – other than missing our connection as we anticipated – but it was just a lot, and I had handled all of the travel issues. My wife wanted to sit with her parents for a little while and have a snack, then go looking around. I asked her to go on without me, and I sat in our hotel room – and I just fell apart.

As I sat there, sobbing uncontrollably, part of my brain was thinking, “this is just stupid. You’re sitting in one of the most beautiful places on Earth, on a gorgeous day. How can you be so sad?”

Well, that’s depression. It doesn’t make sense.

Eventually I calmed down, gathered a few snack items and brought my notebook down to the marina. I sat there on the rocks and sketched while I consumed some white chocolate and really expensive Coke.

The rest of the time in Riomaggiore was fantastic. It’s so beautiful and I really enjoyed walking some of the trails between towns.

A few lessons I’ve learned from depression:

• It doesn’t make any sense
• You just have to let the sadness happen and trust that it will end
• Take care of your physical health to help take care of your mental health