Picture of Steve Boyko

Let’s Talk

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I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all.

Taylor Swift, “All Too Well”

Every year, Bell hosts their “Let’s Talk” day where they contribute money toward mental health initiatives in Canada. I’ve been sharing this on social media for the past few years, encouraging people to talk about their mental health. Your mental health is as important as your physical health.

This year, I’m talking about my own mental health.

These past two years have been a strain on most people. Between the various lockdowns, restrictions on seeing other people, changes in routines, uncertainties, and the unrelenting worry, the pandemic has impacted mental health almost as much as it has impacted physical health.

We’ve been fortunate in our family that the pandemic hasn’t affected us too much. I’ve been working from my basement for the past decade, so that didn’t change at all, and I still have my job. The only real impact is that I’ve only traveled for business once in the past two years, which is unusual. My wife is a pharmacist so she has continued to work, although her job routine has changed. Our children are the most impacted with school closures and remote learning; they’ve adapted but no doubt it has affected them as well.

I’ve noticed that my mental health hasn’t been great in the past several months.

There have been days where it’s been very hard to get out of bed, let alone do some work. Some days I have started crying for no reason at all, and can’t seem to stop. I’ve lost interest in a lot of things, including railfanning. It’s been hard to focus on much of anything; I’ve stalled on basically all of the projects I started.

You might be thinking, “geez, Steve, it sounds like you’re depressed.” (symptoms of depression)

You’re probably right.

I haven’t been diagnosed as such. I’m a computer professional, not a health professional; I leave these things to the experts.

I have spoken to my (GP) doctor about it. She’s prescribed an antidepressant, and I’ve started taking that. I think it’s helping. She also recommended that I speak with a counselor, and I will do that.

Why am I sharing all of this?

We as a society need to look at mental health like we look at physical health. There has always been a stigma about mental health, and we need to move past that. If you have a chronic illness like diabetes, you get help for that. You should do the same for a chronic mental illness like depression. There’s no shame in that.

If you need help, Bell has many resources listed here.

I’m normally a pretty optimistic, cheerful person, a “glass half full” type of person. I haven’t been that person for the past year or so, and I want to get back to being “me”.

So. Let’s talk.

16 thoughts on “Let’s Talk”

  1. As one who has struggled to find the right combination of medication and therapy for my depression, I commend your courage in speaking up. I think the stigma behind depression is less these days, but it still helps to hear others speak about it, to know you are not alone. I also think that, when you do speak up, you are less likely to hear asinine “helpful” comments from others such as “just snap out of it”, as if it’s a choice.

    I hope you feel better. You have already taken the first steps. I got on the right track (heh) and have had the best year ever, starting my own business. And moving to a place where I have a view of trains from my bedroom didn’t hurt, either!

    I look forward to when you can post more photos. I live in the states, but I have fond memories of Canada, having taken Via from Vancouver to Winnipeg a few years ago. Only 8 hr late!

    • Hi C.R., thanks for your comment. I’m glad you are finding your way and had your best year ever. I appreciate the support. I’ve had a lot of positive feedback from speaking up, thankfully.

  2. Take care Steve, having suffered an intensely deep depression after my Dad passed away, followed by losing my job and going through plenty of other life challenges I found counselling and friendly ears, mountainbiking and model trains all played their part in my slow crawl back to normality ten years ago. It’s not easy even today, since recovering I’m much more aware of my mental health and mood, and as you describe, have found lock downs and the pandemic, on top of a year or so of constant bad news about Brexit, doom and gloom, really tough. I’d thank a few friends that were there when I ‘virtually’ reached out to them. Mind, I’m not sure anyone ever asked ‘how are you?’ Perhaps we all should do that more often?

    I hope your days are picking up with the knowledge that you’ve done something positive about it, but if you ever feel the need to reach out to a stranger you’ve got my email.

    • Hi James, you had a hard go of it for sure. It was quite a blow when I lost my dad almost 16 years ago, but it sounds like it hit you a lot harder. I’m glad you’ve found things that will ground you and bring you some joy.

      How are you today?

  3. Talking to your doctor was a good first step. My wife says a friend of hers found a therapist she really likes on Theravive, so hopefully you can find a good one that can help you through this.
    Take care Steve.

  4. Steve, it’s a sign of strength to be able to be open about things like our mental health. I think you are right that all of us have had challenges the past two years, I know I have, and I’ve also taken the self help step of writing about them at least a bit. I am glad you are seeking help, and hopefully talking about it like this helps you too.

    Take care, keep on taking life one day at a time, and hopefully we are all in a better place soon!

    Cheers,

    Stephen

  5. Steve – Hope you feel better as time goes on – Its a hard to take with Covid – Masks – stay at home – not every one in our family wants the vac at the moment because of their beliefs. Its a tough World but hopefully things will get back to normal soon as its rather hard on my (health) mental head !

    Regards

    Richard

    • Hi Richard, we’re all in this together – unfortunately! 🙂 Let’s hope there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s not far off. Thanks for your comment.

  6. Although completely unrelated to the pandemic- the last 2 years have been extremely hard and emotional for me as well. Thanks for being open about the topic, because of my situation I still don’t feel safe sharing with people other than privately (partly due to still being in high school w/controlling/restricting parents) but I have hope that the future will be better!

    • Hi Harrison, sorry the past two years have been difficult for you. I understand that not everyone can share their issues, and I respect that. I hope the future is better for all of us.

  8. Hi Steve,

    I’m the guy that owned the short lived Tuscan Club in Leaside. I saved the dining car from the wreckers and CPR car 2 from probably heading stateside or to a scrap yard as well.
    A great story of how I managed to get them to the Leaside site and shut down the mainline for hours moving the dining car onto my siding.
    Let me know and I would be happy to share stories.

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